I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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