bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
