if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
