If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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