He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we're making bets on your personal life
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
