I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
