it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
