I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
