He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
