omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
