I'm really into asian looking animals
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
