Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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