at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
