Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
