Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
