my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
