Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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