You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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