Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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