she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
