I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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