this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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