NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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