In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
