I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
