So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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