Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
