He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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