White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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