Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
