I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
