she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
