I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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