I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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