alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
