If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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