I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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