3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My feet surprised me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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