i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do vagina's smell?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
