your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
