On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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