Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
