my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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