i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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