she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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