I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
