Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
