nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
pop tarts are not kleenex
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
