Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
