Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
