she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
