Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
